In Darkness

Alone
In darkness.
Empty
Of thought.
Alone.
Empty.
Unwanted.

Love lost.
No good
Remembering.
Only hurt,
Regret
To be gained
In thinking of then.

Promises
Broken.
Lies
Take thier place.
No longer wanted.
Was I ever?
I doubt that.

Alone
For life.
Empty
In heart,
Mind,
Spirit.
All alone.

Relief

I wake,
Remembering.
I wish to forget.
I lay a moment,
Weak,
Disoriented,
Overwhelmed.
Pain rips through me,
Destroying both mind
And spirit.

Slowly,
I remember
How to forget.

I reach slowly,
Quietly,
Into my nightstand.
And slowly,
Quietly,
I retrieve My Helper,
My Only Friend,
A knife.
Glittering in the dull,
White moonlight,
It radiates
With a sense of purpose.
This is what it lives for.

Pressing the gleaming,
Eager tip
To a pulsing,
Pale blue vein,
Gasping at the sharp bite,
I marvel at the feeling.
The newness of an outward pain.
Physical pain.

I study a small river of crimson,
Slowly swelling.
It rolls down my paper-thin skin.
Under my curious gaze,
It slowly,
Purposefully spreads,
Dries,
Turns dark with age.

I sigh,
Relieved,
Exhausted.
I clean My Friend,
Getting him ready
For when I need
The pain again.

I peacefully drift off to sleep,
A smile on my lips.

Don't Leave

I sit in my room, tears running down my face
I can't breathe because I've fallen from your grace
I think about you and your strange new anger
I pray your dissapointment won't linger

Please don't leave me here all alone
Don't leave me where I'm so unknown
You're the only one for me
And I'm sorry, baby
I love you
I need you
I'm so lost without you here
I can't be me without you near

I know what I did, and I did you wrong
I know you're upset, but together we belong
I know I messed up, I know I hurt you awfully
And I'm very sorry that I treated you so badly

Please don't leave me here all alone
Don't leave me where I'm so unknown
You're the only one for me
And I'm sorry, baby
I love you
I need you
I'm so lost without you here
I can't be me without you near

Honey, I need you to know
I just can not go solo
Darling, I need you to hear
The regret in a single tear

Please don't leave me here all alone
Don't leave me where I'm so unknown
You're the only one for me
And I'm sorry, baby
I love you
I need you
I'm so lost without you here
I can't be me without you near

Without you near
My dear