Don't Leave

I sit in my room, tears running down my face
I can't breathe because I've fallen from your grace
I think about you and your strange new anger
I pray your dissapointment won't linger

Please don't leave me here all alone
Don't leave me where I'm so unknown
You're the only one for me
And I'm sorry, baby
I love you
I need you
I'm so lost without you here
I can't be me without you near

I know what I did, and I did you wrong
I know you're upset, but together we belong
I know I messed up, I know I hurt you awfully
And I'm very sorry that I treated you so badly

Please don't leave me here all alone
Don't leave me where I'm so unknown
You're the only one for me
And I'm sorry, baby
I love you
I need you
I'm so lost without you here
I can't be me without you near

Honey, I need you to know
I just can not go solo
Darling, I need you to hear
The regret in a single tear

Please don't leave me here all alone
Don't leave me where I'm so unknown
You're the only one for me
And I'm sorry, baby
I love you
I need you
I'm so lost without you here
I can't be me without you near

Without you near
My dear

-------> Update

Just a note to you readers:

I've rewritten the following poems:
*H-E-L-P, January '09
*Remembrance (formerly I've Remembered), September '08
*Alone, November '08

Also, I've posted the original version of Absence and Presence, called Seclusion, under October '08.

He's Gone

My world has turned to gray -
Your smokey frame melds into the darkness.
She is lost,
But you don't care.
I know it's "her fault," but you could've been...
Gentler, I suppose.
What purpose does it serve to stomp around,
Give people the silent treatment,
Be the one to give a relationship its bad name?
And the thing that hurts worse,
Besides you tearing her apart,
Is that you never said good-bye.
Am I that unimportant to you?
Do you care that little?
Did you forget that we've been a part of each other's lives
For three, four years?
Were you really that unhappy with your life?
So unhappy, in fact, that you disregarded my feelings
And disappeared forever?
Well, good-bye:
I'll be the one to say it.
Good-bye,
And good-riddance.

Suffocation

I feel blank.
My emotions are gone,
Nowhere to be found,
Running away.
Or maybe I'm the one running,
Running from them,
From everyone and everything.
I'm blocking my emotions out,
But I need them to come in.
Can I truely call them mine?
If I cannot feel them?
I don't want them;
Yet I'm not me without them.
I need to be able to feel afraid.
I can feel the tears burning,
But my emptiness forbids them to leave.
I'm suffocating under the pressure -
So much pressure! -
The pressure to be perfect,
The pressure to obey,
The pressure of childhood -
A childhood long gone.
They'd be so disappointed.
I'm down on my knees,
Begging and pleading
For thought and emotion
Once more.
I'll do anything...

H-E-L-P

To other people,
I seem fine.
No one bothers looking deeper,
They don't care.

I'm not okay.
I'm scared I'll be lost,
Be left standing alone
In the darkness.

I'm lonely as he passes,
Not looking,
As he is looking
At another.

I'm drifting.
I'm filled with a longing,
A need,
A desperation.

Someone see me
Hear me.
Become aware.
It's urgent someone realize.

My heart is tearing,
Unable to be mended,
Incapable of hanging on
To the last shred of its sanity.

I cry out silently
With my very soul.
Although it is mangled
Beyond recognition.

It's tortured, screaming,
Yet still begging
With all its got.
Still pleading.

Someone...
Anyone...
Help.

Absence and Presence

Black.
The absence of all color.
The absence of all emotion.
The absence of anything and of everything.
I have a color,
A color uniquely me.
A mix of burning red,
Depthless blue
And soaring yellow.
A mix of palest pink
And fragile white.
When you left,
You - my world, my existence,
When you left me,
My life-
Without you-
Could be defined by only one color.
Black.
And then you came back!
All my color returned to me
In a single, heart-stopping second.
My color,
Just right for me,
Which is dead without you,
Which kills me when it is gone,
It returned to me.
My soul has been found once more.

A Feeling

I may be the only thing
Worth everything I demand in return:
Bravery and sacrifice and commitment.
Forgiveness and compassion and faith.
What am I?
I may be the only thing
Worth everything if I go wrong:
Regret and sorrow and tears.
Brokenheartedness and loss.
Can you guess yet?
I may be the only thing
Worth my weight in gold,
Worth taking chances for,
Worth all I put you through.
Do you give up?
I'll tell what I am,
Why I am worth so much.
I am the best feeling in the world.
I am the feeling of love.

Alone

Alone
And unknown.
Forsaken
And shaken...
This is what creates me.

Shouts
And doubts.
Mistrust
And disgust...
This is what enfeebles me.

Sighing
And crying.
Depression
And aggression...
This is what destroys me.

A friend
To mend
The pain
And strain...
This is what I am longing for.

Seclusion

Black.
The absence of all color.
The absence of all emotion.
The absence of anything
And of everything.

I had a color,
I color uniquely me.
A mix of passionate red,
Soothing blue,
And joyous yellow.

And now, you -
My world -
My existence -
Now you are gone.
My life,
So cold and bitter,
Can now be defined by one color alone...

Black.

My color,
Just right for me,
Has disappeared,
Smothered by the blackness.
It has ceased to exist.
Just like that.
It's killing me to be

Absent
Of all
Color.

Remembrance

I always thought of you,
But now I rarely do.

I always cried looking back,
But now I laugh instead.

My heart used to be in constant pain,
But now it seems rebirthed.

I was in love with you.
I will always love you.
There's a subtle difference
Between loving and being in love.
I've discovered that fine line.

So finally,
I remember.
I remember how to forget.
How to be myself.
How much my family
And my friends mean to me.

I can remember not to lose myself
I'm seizing onto my heart and soul
And never letting go again.
Most importantly,
I remember this:

I remember how to be...

Happy.